For my blood sugars, I LOVED being pregnant. I had a fabulous CDE on retainer evaluating my blood sugars with me weekly and helping me to make adjustments. I had blood sugar goals-60-90 pre-meals and not spiking above 140 2 hours post meal. Seeing an A1C in the 5’s was amazing and celebrated (mainly by myself and my high-risk OB). Now that I’m 2 months postpartum, I’m in a weird state. My husband and I are most likely done with kids so I don’t technically need to keep my A1C down in hopes of trying to conceive (we are like 90% sure we are done so there is still a 10% chance). So I feel like I’m in a weird spot now.
I had my latest endocrinologist appointment last week. I had blood work done and my latest A1C is 6.1. Before thinking about babies, I would have rejoiced at this number. After having babies I’m a little torn. On one hand, I was really hoping for a number in the 5’s because it included the last month of pregnancy and first two weeks postpartum when my blood sugars were AMAZING. On the other hand, I’ve had a lot of highs recently so I guess I’m glad it wasn’t higher.
I’m still used to having amazing blood sugars from the pregnancy. When I see a high blood sugar now, it’s really upsetting. But at the same time, seeing a high blood sugar doesn’t cause as much stress because I’m not hurting my little baby with the high, I’m only hurting myself. I feel in this weird grey area where I am able to have good blood sugars but there isn’t as much pressure to.
When my endo told me my A1C, I was disappointed but she was really happy. She said it’s because I had eliminated lows, but really I just had more highs. I feel like my endocrinologist is happier when my A1C is higher. I want my A1C lower but maybe that’s not too sustainable with two kids under 2 now. So where does that leave me?
I don’t have any goals technically. I guess a goal could still be to be below seven for long term health. Having my A1C up to 7 seems high now to me (crazy how that happens because I spent YEARS hoping for that). But what’s a good A1C? My endocrinologist obviously disagrees with what she thinks I should be (me wanting to be below 6, her wanting me above 6). What’s a good goal for my blood sugars? Should I be avoiding lows? Should I be avoiding highs? The obvious answer would be yes but what’s considered high or low now? During pregnancy a blood sugar of 60 wasn’t low and a blood sugar of 150 was high. Now, I feel like 60 would be too low and 150 would be perfect? So what would my goals be? And how hard on myself should I be if I don’t stay in range besides the obvious guilt/stress over long term complications? There is a lot of grey area when it comes to diabetes care and it leaves me uncertain what I should be aiming for. I am driven by goals so I’m in a state of flux right now not knowing what I should be aiming for.