This week is Diabetes Blog Week! I will be participating with over 150 bloggers discussing a new topic each day. Today’s Topic is Share and Don’t Share:
Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see?
I moved to a new area back last August and I am ashamed to admit that I have only been to see an endocrinologist once since moving. The one visit I had in my new area was more of a getting to know me phase so in answering this question, I’m going to answer it based on the endocrinologist I had before I moved. I love today’s topic because I know exactly what I would want my old endocrinologist to see. I would want her to see how much and how hard I try.
I don’t know how some Type 1 Diabetics do it where their A1Cs are perfect, their numbers are perfect at 90 or 100, or how their numbers don’t rise and fall too much. I find having Type 1 Diabetes to be so hard. I have had it for almost 20 years and I still struggle everyday with it. When I would go see my old endocrinologist she would always get mad at me. Mad that she couldn’t see a good trend in my numbers, mad that I didn’t use my bolus wizard every time I bolused, mad that my A1C wasn’t below seven, mad that I didn’t do any basal fastings so that she could make changes. I am a pretty non-confrontational person so when my endocrinologist would yell at me about how I don’t use my bolus wizard, I would just sit there and take it. Yes, I know I need to use it. I would try to tell her that I don’t have faith in using my bolus wizard because I always get low after using it and I’m scared to get low. She wouldn’t hear what I was saying, nor did she think to look into why I feel that way. She would see me for 15-30 minutes and in that time, so she would just want to see some obvious trends so she could make adjustments to my basal rates or bolus rates to get my A1C below seven.
If she could find/read my blog I would want her to see that I struggle every day. I try so hard to keep my blood sugar under control. Sure, I haven’t basal tested like I should have, but it’s so hard to do. It’s exhausting having to fast and wake up in the middle of the night. Sure, I try to use my bolus wizard but when I know my basal rates are too high, it’s hard to use the bolus wizard correctly because I don’t want to get too low. I try every day to keep my blood sugar under good control. I try to eat the same foods every day because I know how certain foods affect my blood sugar. I try not to eat Mexican food because I am so bad at counting those chips but I give in every now and then which makes my blood sugar go sky high. I try not to give into temptations when it comes to desserts but I am human and sometimes it’s impossible to have the will to say no to Cheesecake Factory’s cheesecake. But I try. Despite what my blood sugar numbers look like when I go to see my endocrinologist every three months, I try.